There’s a Brian Regan joke about mistakingly asking a lady if she is pregnant. Honestly, every time I see a lady, whether she is very obviously preggo or not, I simply refuse to acknowledge it. Unless I’m at your Baby Shower, I’m probably looking like the rudest person ever, but I refuse to talk about your baby bump. Because of Brian Regan. “When’s that baby due? …. What baby?! …. at the zoo! The Pandas!”
Where am I going with this? No, I’m not pregnant. {But if I was, an announcement that started with a Brian Regan bit would probably be the route I’d go…} This week I have been forced to put my body through hell. As most of you know, I decided to spend 2014 “getting healthy.” I learned more and more about clean eating, exercising, and being happy. But I also learned that my body has some extreme intolerances and limitations when it comes to food that most people eat every single day.
Next Monday, I have an endoscopy scheduled. The biopsy will tell me whether or not I have Celiac Disease. I’m not worried about the actual procedure. Honestly, I’m really looking forward to it! Hello happy gas and the best nap ever!! As much as I work and juggle, you can bet your bottom dollar {whatever that actually means?} that I am going to enjoy the hell out of that sleep.
My issue with this test, is the entire 7 days prior. My doctor has said that I need to eat all-things-gluten. Basically, everything that I’ve realized my body cannot handle and everything that makes me ill, all need to be on this week’s menu. So all the things that I have been mentally craving for the last, I don’t know, maybe six to eight months? Yup. I’m eating them this week. Not because I want to, but because I have to. And here is how my body has reacted:
Terrifying right? In three days alone, I went from what I thought was already pretty pudgy to “oh hey, when’s that baby due?”
Honest reaction to this whole thing? I wanted to quit on Day 2, but stuck it out to Day 3. By Day 3 my body was so jacked I decided it would be an absolute waste to stop then. So here I am on Day 4. I’m half way there. I’m tired of eating sandwiches and cheerios and gluten-full soy sauce.
On tonight’s menu is Thai food, because that is what I have really missed the most this past year. However, at this point, I do not want to eat any of this crap at all. I am dying for my whole30 meal planning and celery. Lots and lots of celery. {Crazy thing is, I really dislike celery in real life. Why am I craving it now? Maybe food babies cause cravings too…}
Which brings me to the big news of the long and rambling blog post. I am leading another group Whole30! We are kicking off 2015 the right way! If you are looking to make a lifestyle change and to get healthy, I promise, if you stick with the Whole30 guidelines {for just 30 days!} you will get the results you want.
As I have done with past whole30’s that I’ve lead, I provide you with a 30 day meal plan {full of recipes I love} and weekly emails that will help encourage and support you! This time, I am offering one on one coaching for anyone who really wants to be held accountable and needs that extra hand-holding {or kick in the butt, whichever you prefer!} If you want to read more about my past whole30 experiences, you can find them here, here, and here.
Remember, we are starting on January 1. NOT because I want you to have time to eat all of your favorite treats before changing your life, but because I know with the holidays and festivities, it’s really, really difficult to not partake in a glass or two of wine. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to reach out to me! If you want to join the #2catsWhole30 shoot me an email and I will get you on the list!
If you are the praying kind of person, may I ask that you shoot a couple up for me the rest of this week? It has become so incredibly hard to eat this food and to keep myself positive. I’m really not sure if this is becoming more of a physical or mental challenge. I’m feeling depressed and exhausted, mentally drained and physically breathless when climbing the stairs. It’s crazy, it’s terrifying, and I’m so over it.
Oh, and watching these sappy Hallmark Movie Channel Christmas flicks do not help. If I find myself soaking up my tears with bread as DJ Tanner finds love in Alaska one more time…
Cheers, y’all!
{Please keep in mind, I am not a nutritionalist or personal trainer. I’m a a marketing coordinator and wedding planner. I am someone who shares the Whole30 program with you, based on my experiences, because it’s awesome.}