Ramblings Archives - Page 3 of 9

Hiding Behind My Selfie.

June 26, 2014 by Susan 12 Comments

I absolutely positively enjoy blogging. I enjoy the giveaways, the collaborations, and the linkups. I enjoy “meeting” new bloggers and building a community. I enjoy keeping my space in the blogosphere light and fun with recipes, projects, wedding deets, fashion, memories and pictures. I enjoy this as my happy, creative space. But I also want to keep it real. Real with you, and even more so, real with myself. I have built my businesses and blog around many social media outlets. I love them. But I hate them. I hate how, from time to time, this virtual world can make you feel like you’re just not good enough. No one publicly posts their struggles in their timeline updates. People just post every single thing ranging from semi-awesome to abs-a-stinkin-lutely awesome. No one posts negative thoughts or ugly images on facebook or instagram. Probably because no one wants to read about our bad days, our lack of business, our insecurities and need to feel like we are part of the “in crowd” even at 30 years old. And when people do virtually put it all out there, we I immediately think “seriously - why would he/she even post that crap here?”
Maybe because they have no one else to turn to. Maybe they simply just want someone to reach out and assure them that they’re not alone. Or maybe they just need to vent. Who knows. But who am I to judge. So here I am. The owner and creator of the almost-always-happy 2 cats and chloe. Here to open a can of worms, vent a little, and just get some emotions out. Here I am to let you know that I am real. I have a slew of good days and I have a ton of bad days. I have plenty of joys, but I also have plenty of struggles. In a world where we strive for the gold stars accrued by more “likes,” “friends” and “followers” - here I am to tell you what’s hiding behind my selfie.

I struggle with comparing my life to others’ lives. Even some of my closest friends. I constantly feel as if I just never make the cut. I feel like I am always watching all the cool kids and their buckets of success from a lunch table on the other side of the room. Whether it’s accurate or not, I struggle to fit into their world of luck and charm.

I struggle with all of my closest friends living hours, states, and continents away from me. Seriously, every time someone moves away or I have to say another goodbye, my heart breaks just a bit. I passionately hate not knowing when I will see my friends again. I struggle with feeling lonely. As my husband works crazy hours during the week, I spend our weekend time working weddings.

I struggle with the fact that I work from home, and my cat and chloe are my “co-workers.” I run my own business and I work as an independent contractor. As the saying goes: There’s no “I” in “team.” There’s also no “team” in “I”… But given the opportunity to work in an office, I would probably go crazy. I struggle with the fact that I worked my ass off (well more so my belly) the first half of the year to lose 20 pounds, only to run into a handful of health issues, and gain every single ounce back. I dread wearing a swimsuit. I dread simply looking in the mirror. I struggle with guilt when I’m not working. If I’m not working, I’m not making money. Even on holidays. Even on sick days. When I’m not working one of my jobs, I should be working one of the other 2… Not watching tv and eating lunch for 20 minutes. I struggle with the fact that I have no time for creative craft projects. Because I’m always working or sleeping. These projects used to act as a mental release for me. I need to not feel shame because I have the desire and need to create. I struggle with the dark feeling that I am never a good enough wife, daughter, sister or friend. I struggle with the need to satisfy my shopaholic cravings, yet I feel terrible when I spend $6.99 on Trader Joes’ Almond Butter and other clean-eats. The point of this post isn’t to depress you, or to make you feel bad for me. The point is to show you that we all have struggles hiding behind our perfectly posed, cameras-raised-up-high-enough-that-you-don’t-see-our-double-chin selfies. Maybe I am alone in this feeling of “everyone else just looks so darn happy all the time.” Or maybe I’m not? Maybe my selfies are part of the problem, leading others to believe my life is absolutely peachy 100% of the time. Maybe I need to just focus on ME and get off of facebook. And then I sit back and thank God that all of my struggles are beyond a doubt, first world problems. I’m blessed to have a roof over my head. A husband that loves me. A family that protects and cares for me. Food in my pantry. A car to get me where I need to be. And numerous jobs that provide multiple (yet small) incomes. Do you have struggles hiding behind your selfies? Give me your thoughts in the comment section below.

Hi, My name is Susan, and I’m a Personifier.

June 4, 2014 by Susan 5 Comments

Let me preface this post by saying that names were not changed to protect the identity of my belongings.

You see, here’s my problem. I personify just about everything I own. As a kid, I named each and every single one of my bazillion stuffed animals. And if you put me in a room with them (or in my parents’ attic with them) I’ll bet you money that I can recall all of their first and last names. And their back stories. And their favorite hobbies. I blame my attention to detail and my love for creativity. It’s pathetic and it’s a problem.

I name just about everything that I own:

My house = The Big GreenHouse

My iMac = Pearl

My MacBookPro = Oyster

My Jeep = Lorelai

My Prius = Pretty Prius Penelope

The stuffed bear that I’ve had since 11th grade = Booger

My DSLR = Snaps

Our blender = Katrina

Our toaster oven = Frank

My husband’s car = Mr Accordian

No seriously. As an adult who is about to turn 30, I see this as a huge problem. And probably the reason I am on the verge of becoming a TLC reality show special. As it seems, once I name something, it becomes part of the family. Which is why, yes, at the age of 29 years and 357 days old, I’m ashamed to announce that I still sleep with Booger. The problem is that when I give something a name, I am also giving it a personality. And then it breaks my heart to part with him or her. {Not so much the toaster or the blender though… those were just used for blog-exaggeration purposes. However, they do prefer to go by Katrina and Frank. Kiddddding.}

Ramblings aside, I’m getting to my point: Pretty Prius Penelope has to find a new home. A new home that can fix her issues. Given the option, I would send Frank or Katrina packing. Lucky for them, neither have repair costs in the multi-thousand dollar range.

So I’m afraid that it’s time for my beloved, bright red, hybrid car to go to CarMax. I bought her used about a year and a half ago. I’m the kind of person who gets a car and keeps it forever. Which only makes this situation even more unhappy. Despite her needed repairs - she’s been a perfect car. But the hubs has already threatened that I will never, ever, ever own another hybrid. Even if she gives me 54 mpg, I never have to have her key out of my purse to drive her, and the back of her lays completely flat making her the perfect vehicle for chloe and all my wedding gear.

We are picking her back up at the dealership tomorrow to take her home, clean out all my junk in her trunk, and take her to her CarMax appointment on Friday. Go ahead, call me crazy. I seriously don’t know why I attach myself to inanimate objects like this. (Although I do remember my mom saying goodbye to “Vanny” when it was time to trade him in…) I keep telling myself ~~she~~ it is just a car. ~~She~~ It does not have any feelings. ~~She~~ It will find a new, good home. Goodness! Can you imagine how I’m going to react when it comes time for Chloe or Rockie to leave me?!

By the spare chance that you actually care, I will keep you posted. But unless she magically fixes her issues or the dealership figures out how to fix her for less than the cost of a 3 week trip to Europe - I’m afraid it’s time to say goodbye.

So now that you think I’m absolutely cray… it’s time you confess. Have you named your vehicle? Do you become attached to your car? Or are you ~~a weirdo~~ like me, someone who has named random things around her house? Is this normal or should I be booking my summer vacay at an institution?

For the love of all 428 of named, childhood stuffed animals and my sick Pretty Prius!

Until next time… xxoo

God Bless You! Top Five Worst Places to Sneeze

June 26, 2013 by Susan 1 Comment

As I found myself in that awkward “Do I hold it in or just let it rip” moment I realized this was a blog-worthy PSA topic…

So here you have it…

Susan’s Top ~~Ten~~ Five Worst Places to SNEEZE.

5. When you’re in the midst of kitten cuddles. Cat lovers out there know the exact moment I am referencing. Your picky cat FINALLY settles in, cuddles up next to you and falls asleep… You sneeze. He takes off as if a stampede of wildebeest were about to trample him.

4. It’s bad enough when the dentist tries to talk to you while he’s cleaning your teeth… But there’s nothing much worse than the panic and fear when his hand and pointy, metal instruments are in your mouth and you feel a sneeze brewing!

3. The airplane. It’s really not all that bad, but people immediately hate the girl who sneezes on an airplane. Even if you’re pretty and your breathe is minty fresh. And let’s not even think about letting out a second sneeze. Even if you’re a quiet, polite sneezer who covers her mouth. You might as well just go sit next to the crying baby.

via.

2. Have you ever had to sneeze while pretending you’re a mermaid in the swimming pool? I’m not sure what’s worse… the pain or the awkwardness. Not gonna lie, I still have flashbacks and nightmares.

1. The nail salon in the midst of an overdue mani. {The inspiration for this post.} You’re pedicured toes are drying in that neon machine while the soft spoken lady politely cleans, polishes, tries to rescue your short and broken fingernails. One hand is in the bowl water and marbles while the other is half way through it’s paint job. Here are your options:

Do you quickly pull the hand out of the water and risk spilling it all over as you sneeze onto the hand she is about to work on?

Do you pull your hand away from her and risk gel polish being mis-painted? And sneeze into wet polish? Ain’t nobody got time for that. You don’t want those germs literally at your finger tips for two weeks!

Do you turn your head and sneeze on the lady next to you who is currently having 2 inch long talons applied to her fingertips? Lord knows she could claw your eyes out if she really wanted to…

Or do you sneeze straight at the sweet little innocent lady who is doing her job and painting glitter on your nails?

Quite the predicament. And you have 1.4 seconds to decide on your plan of action.

What do you do?

I awkwardly sneezed on the lady painting my nails and then doubled her tip.

In other news… my nails look great.

Best Sick Day Ever.

October 19, 2012 by Susan 4 Comments

Last night I had to go to dinner with my old boss and my mom. My mom was acting as my co-worker until half way through dinner I made her do the world-famous-do-you-have-a-fever-?-mom-test. You know, back of hand to the forehead thing.

Lo and behold, I was burning up. By the time I got home my temperature was up to 100 degrees. Gross.

I went to bed, hoping I was just allergic to business dinners. Then I woke up this morning with the flu. Lame.

I spent the day in and out of napping with a 101 degree fever. While awake, let me tell you, this was the most exciting day of my life. Not.

I started the morning out by drinking a glass of orange juice in bed while watching a few hours of Boy Meets World. Were you aware that ABC Family has like 15 hours of Boy Meets World on in the morning?! I must remember this tomorrow!

Then I played around on instagram. (@2catsandchloe) I learned that I am not the only poor soul who is home sick with the flu today.

I cuddled with Rockie. And tried to eat some dark chocolates. Then had to separate the cats because they were fighting to lay next to me. True loves.

My mom brought me an “orange” care package! I’m pretty sure she purchased everything orange that she could get her hands on. Orange Sherbet, Orange Cream Bars, Orange Juices of sorts, Mandarin Oranges! Not to mention the go-to sick foods… ginger ale, noodles, saltines… None of which is paleo, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

I proceeded to eat a sleeve and a half of saltines. Not my proudest moment. At all.

TLC and Say Yes to the Dress lead me to Pinterest for a few. But I was so sick, I wasn’t even really feeling proud of my pins. Please disregard any pins from today, except for that stunning wedding dress I accidentally pinned twice. My pins were totally under the influence. 101 degrees of influence.

I branched away from the tv and headed to YouTube. Where I watched funny animal videos such as this… And now I want lambs. “Two Lambs and Chloe” - has a good ring, don’t ya think?

Buttered Egg Noodles for dinner! Best.Sick.Meal.Ever.

Then I needed a little fun in my life so I decided ginger ale in a mason jar with a crazy straw would be just enough fun to close out the most exciting sick day of my life.

Stay tuned, my fever hasn’t broken yet so I’d put money down that tomorrow’s gonna get cray cray!

All I Want To Do…

October 14, 2012 by Susan 2 Comments

I have so many things to get done but all I want to do is blog. I guess 3 months off will creep up on you when you have a pile of chores that desperately need to be conquered. Is it just me or does this happen to everyone? I have a list of to-do items, and I have a list of to-do-but-i-don’t-wanna-do items. Even if the latter are the most important, the normal to-do always trump them.

For example, I have loads and loads of laundry to get caught up on. Yes, certain articles of clothing have been worn more than they should. Jeans can be worn what, like a million times before you have to wash them?! Yes, certain piles of clothes have sat on my bedroom floor for, well, let’s just say it’s been a week… wink wink. I desperately do not want to clean my room, give the dog a bath, or do my work related reports. So what was the first thing I finally did this morning? Yep, laundry.

Despite the fact that she looks like a dead fish, Spitty is just sleeping!

With all of that being said, I just got very distracted, skimmed around a few other good blog reads and realized yet another hour has past.

Ladies, Gent (that is, if my father came back as a reader after my hiatus…) it’s time I make a to-do list.

* C-Lo needs a bath… She has a cloud of stink that follows her everywhere

{source}

* Find an hour to do some business planning… sales, weddings, marketing

* Clean my room… because I can only avoid spending time in my bedroom for but so long!

* Clean my house… or my roommate will give up on me and leave

* Figure out when/if I will put my house up for sale… because I have a feeling 2013 will bring change to my life

* Complete work expense reports… for crying out loud, they are a pain in the rear but it’s my money… not sure why I don’t want that reimbursement check!

* Move the laundry for the washer to the dryer… because mildew isn’t a great accessory

* Redesign this blog… because I’m BACK!

* Change the batteries in my keyboard… you know it’s gonna die right in the midst of an epic facebook post!

* Treat myself to a mani & pedi… next weekend’s my 2 year anniversary. I should try to look pretty so he will want to keep me around a bit longer!

* Figure out a meal plan that will keep me Paleo… because as much as I loved the chocolate chip pancakes with my family this morning, I feel like C-R-A-P.

* Pumpkin Pickin’… tis the season right?

There are a million other things I could have on there, like finish reading 50 Shades or start a British-American Wedding Pin Board on Pinterest, but I guess I should start somewhere!

Until next time… I wish you all a lovely, productive, and relaxing Sunday!