So here’s the thing… while I’m super thrilled about my goal of embracing change this year, last night it all got the best of me and an anxiety attack began brewing.
My husband took the night off work, which meant he was actually home for dinner! In the midst of our “Valentine’s Dinner” (I’m a blogger – we have to celebrate things like this twice sometimes so that I can publish recipes prior to the holiday) I began my mental breakdown. I timidly proclaimed that I wanted to call off this whole selling-of-the-house business and then waited for Michael’s response. After what felt like 10 minutes, he didn’t say no. He just looked at me and simply asked, “Why?” And then I realized that I honestly didn’t know why.
With tears in my eyes I remembered how much I hated this dark house and this crime-laden city when I first moved here. I also remembered how I hated being “so far” from my family and friends (of which most have now moved far, far away anyway.) I remembered the fact that I hate how my feet don’t touch the floor when I sit on the toilets in this house. Weird, right?? I remembered our slab and how I passionately dislike how all the leaves and dirt just roll right in. I remembered the only perk of this city has to offer me – Trader Joes. With all of these negatives, and our dream house waiting for us on the other side, I still didn’t know why I felt like I needed to call this whole thing off.
He then told me I was being silly, gave me a hug and I went to my desk to do a little blogging. When I laid down in bed later that night I prayed and I pondered. This house has come a long, long way. We’ve taken down walls, remodeled the kitchen and replaced the barney-purple carpeting. It’s a nice house, but I’m nowhere near attached to it like I was my townhouse. (Which I still cannot step foot back into because of all the emotions and memories I don’t want to face. Another topic for another day though.)
So if I’m not attached to the house and I’m finally coming to grips with the fact that I need to begin hoarding food when I shop at Trader Joes… why in the world am I so upset to leave this place?
And then it hit me like a bug on a windshield.
It’s our neighbors. Neighbors who love my dogs more than my own family loves my dogs. Neighbors who are there for me when I need a glass of wine. Neighbors who have loaned me their screened porch during the summers and haven’t judge me (at least to my face) when our Christmas decorations are still up on February 1. Neighbors who have cried more about the “For Sale” sign in our front yard than I have. Neighbors who I will miss terribly. Neighbors that now feel like family.
Quite frankly – if we didn’t have the wonderful family across the street, I don’t know if ever would’ve been completely content here. When you work from home and your husband works from 12PM to 12AM – times can get lonely. And having the teenagers across the street catch me up on the Kardashians’ latest shenanigans really can make things better.
But you can’t stay in a house because of the neighbors. Not when you have the opportunity for the slick deal of a lifetime (my mom has developed the neighborhood we will be moving in to and my dad is a homebuilder who will be building for us at-cost…)
Now that I know why I wanted to stay, I think I’m okay with the idea of moving. The family across the street will always hold a special place in my heart. Whether they like it or not, I will be back to watch their girls go to prom. I plan on forcing the wife to become our Nanny when the day comes. And for me, they will forever be one of the positives associated with “Newport News.”
Wow that was long and wordy. Oh yes, don’t think I forgot. I know it’s Friday. And in Blogland, on Fridays we make lists. So to turn this puppy around, how about a quick list of 5 on Friday: The “Pros” of Moving to Suffolk?
Our new home will be custom designed and built. I’ve looked at a trillion plans, found what I liked, found what I didn’t. Worked with my husband and my mom to create something I think will REALLY work for our family.
My goal is to incorporate southern charm and coastal living – yet appreciate the fact that our new home will be out in the “country.” This isn’t exact, by any means, but here is the visual I’m working with for the exterior of the home:
When we move, we will be about 30 minutes from my parents. Right now we are an hour away. 30 minutes is far enough that we won’t see them every day, but if we wanted to, we could.
We will be living on a pretty big chunk of land that gets a great deal of sunshine. Our plan is to build some gardens and possibly invest in Backyard Chickens! I may not be 7 minutes from Trader Joes anymore, but we will have fresh veggies and eggs coming from our backyard!
We will have more space. (Like we need it… our hoarding tendencies really need to be wrangled prior to this move!) But I will have an office. Like, an actual office! Not a guestroom with a desk! We will also have a screen porch and a kitchen with counter space! Oh, and did I mention the hand-me-down hot tub?
So while it will be really sad to leave our beyond wonderful neighbors and this house that has somehow become a home… Deep down, I know we are making the right decision. Now let’s just rip off the bandaid and get this darn place SOLD!
Thanks for listening to me ramble y’all. TGIF! I’m off to visit my college town and possibly hit the slopes with my family for the weekend!
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