Houston, we have a problem. I’m not sleeping anymore.
Well, I guess I am sleeping, but not soundly, nay efficiently! I’m no parent, but on numerous occasions I’ve heard the saying “sleep like a baby…” and it’s always used to refer to a deep, peaceful, full-of-rest, angelic sleep. Again, totally not a mom, but I’ve never really understood that saying. Most of my mom-friends have to get up every couple of hours because their baby is hungry or has some bodily issues that needs to be tended to. How in the world can one’s sleep be so on and off throughout the night, yet we turn it into a saying that encompasses the definition of restful, never mind angelic?
At this point, my non-angelic inference of the “sleep like a baby” saying totally applies to me. Minus the bodily issues. {Whenever I wake up and need to pee, I just remind myself that I can hold my bladder for an entire 9.5 hour flight to Switzerland (I’m terrified of airplane toilets) so I sure as heck better be able to hold it through the night.}
I really just don’t understand what part of waking up every couple of hours is peaceful and full of z-catching. For the last few nights I have tossed, I have turned, and I have counted nearly 3000 sheep. If I’m not hot, I’m freezing. If I’m covered in blankets {which I normally love} I all of a sudden cannot stand them touching me. My favorite has become waking up and have my soft white, throw blanket wrapped around my head and neck as if it is a burqa.
Let’s not forget about the extremely real-life, this-is-totally-happening-to-you dreams I’ve been having. If I don’t wake up because the temperature of the room is just a tad bit off, or because the cat is purring just a bit too loud, I am waking up hysterically sobbing because my dream was so crushing, I don’t know what to do with myself.
A few nights ago I woke myself up crying because my Auntie in Switzerland “caught” ebola. My best friend called me to tell me about Auntie’s situation, and said that I needed to get there immediately. The doctors have only given her two weeks to live and she wasn’t contagious, so we all needed to be together immediately. This dream was so life like that everything {other than my auntie have ebola} totally fit and felt so real. I called my boss and told her I wasn’t going to be at our work conference {which is really happening this week}, I checked with my dad to confirm his flight and our ride from the Zurich airport, and even packed enough clothes {I can remember each particular outfit!} for two weeks. When I landed in Switzerland I was informed that I had to be detained because my passport still had my maiden name on it {absolutely accurate and totally needs to be checked off my to-do list!} At this point, I woke up sobbing. All I wanted to do was be with my Swiss family!
After calming myself down, I finally fell back asleep. And found myself still detained in the Zurich airport. And I woke up crying again. Curse my life, this was a reoccurring dream! It went on and on, in and out of sleep, tears and emotions, for the rest of the morning.
Until 5AM when I finally gave up and watched Gilmore Girls on netflix.
I’m really shocked that throughout all of this nonsense, I have not woken up Michael yet. Especially the next night when a python ate my cat, Rockie, in our backyard. The mailman {Cliff, from Cheers, by the way} tried to stop him. I called animal control about the gigantic snake, but it was too late. He swallowed Rockie whole.
Again, I was sobbing. And hysterical. I woke myself up in tears and verbalizing “DON’T EAT ROCKIE!” Thank god Michael didn’t hear me screaming at a python. I don’t think he would ever let that one go.
All of this to simply tell you that I am exhausted.
We will resume our regularly scheduled blog posts as soon as I can catch some restful Zs. In the mean time, why don’t you go ahead and try winning a little Amazon loot! Details about this giveaway are found here, but you know the drill!
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