Paleo Cocktail Sauce and Crazy Eyes on the Bachelor!

Is it me or does that crazy model on The Bachelor send evil vibes through the television?!  THROUGH THE TUBES!  I am not sure how she does it, but I am sitting here watching and waiting for her to bite someone while she kung-fu chops another girl in the face.  There is just something about Crazy Courtney that totally urks irks me!  Apparently you don’t cross that girl and her crazy eyes!  She will hunt you down, shave your eyebrows and roll her eyes at you in front of everyone.  Quite frankly, she terrifies me just a bit.  And I am pretty sure she would make me cry.  A lot.  And that’s with the comfort of the we-will-never-ever-meet-security-blanket wrapped around me as I lounge on my pink couch.  And for serious Ben?! You gave her a rose?! I love you and your 90s styled Jonathan Taylor Thomas hair style but please man… listen to the blond girl with the sparkly dress and take a better look at Team Lindzi or Tennessee (Casey B).  And don’t… I repeat DON’T get into the ocean, naked, with that skank…. I’m pretty sure you will catch something and not with your fly fishing rod.  (Woop – that was for you Cait!) 

Innnn other news!  I was invited to my parents house for a family dinner last night!  My mom went well out of her way to make sure that everyone’s eating lifestyles were available.  Here’s the family line up:  My sister is a vegetarian, but she still eats fish.  My dad doesn’t eat anything that walks on four feet – basically no red meat.  I have gone Paleo (all natural, no processed foods).  And my mom, she’s just a pretty good sport with all of the above – except cheap wine.  It makes her face look all racoon-y, yet she still keeps drinking it!

My plate(s) were delicious!  A great salad with oil and vinegar sauce plus a bit of secret Swiss sauce.  My godmother, Jean, grilled me up a steak.  I sauteed some mushrooms and prepared artichoke hearts.  And the shrimpies of course!  There was a panic before dinner because the cocktail sauce was MIA.  They hustled and bustled around the kitchen, trying to make some up.  There was talk of using ketchup and mustard.  Either way, I knew there wasn’t going to be cocktail sauce in my near future.

One of the tough parts about ‘going paleo’ is that you cut sugars.  Ketchup and even store bought cocktail sauce isn’t on my “yes you can eat” list because of the sugars and extra goodies that are added.

Last week I was lazy and did not feel like cooking.  Not at all.  So I decided sale priced steamed shrimp from the grocery store was my best quick, healthy option.  For $4 I got more shrimp than I could eat alone.  I steamed up some veggies and sauteed some spinach.  Then decided I needed to get creative and make some homemade paleo cocktail sauce.   It was delicious and easy.  Here’s my recipe.  You should totally try it. :)

Mix all of the ingredients (below) together.  Easy enough?

8 oz Tomato Sauce (no salt added) – I got the roasted garlic kind to add a bit more flava!
1 teaspoon of minced garlic – No such thing as too much garlic in my book!
2 teaspoons of horse radish mustard – I got an organic natural type.  I don’t normally like mustard but this was awesomely delicious.
1 teaspoon of lemon juice
1 or 2 teaspoons of hot sauce – The heat is up to you. I went with two teaspoons and thought it was good with just a bit of kick.  And yes, the hot sauce has sugar and such in it, but 2 teaspoons isn’t going to kill you – promise.
A couple shakes of Crushed Red Pepper Flakes – Again, use your discretion about the level of heat and spice
A dash or so of fresh ground peppercorn and you’re good to go!
The amount of ingredients is all up to you.  I encourage you to use these ingredients but be creative with the flavors you love.  I love garlic and hot, so I did both.  Live it up!  And let me know how it turns out! :)